Blood Soaken Misery
by krizz666
Summary: When Raven thinks nothing matters anymore...Can Cartman save him from a world of despair and loneliness without even realising it? Or will Raven refuse his own happiness, and fall into a deep dark pit of self hatred?
1. Chapter 1

**Authors Note: Some parts/conversations are taken directly from my Real Life. I can't help myself with that…I feel like I really put a piece of myself in these stories...Please don't Flame…the feelings that Stan feel in this story, are very much real to mine...the confusion, questions and expressions…**

**Very soft…but edgy at the same time, and still deciding if there will be a made-up sex scene. **

**I DO not own South Park.**

Fragile, Broken and Abandoned. That's how Wendy left me, for another guy at some Beer drinking, pot smoking party. She was there for me when no one else was, held me when I cried, and made me laugh till I was out of breath.

She was my world, But now…

The world means nothing…

I mean nothing…

And she means nothing…

I slipped on my black skinny leg jeans, and any black tee shirt I could find that didn't reek of my body odor, glancing in my vanity mirror, and reaching for the hairspray, styling my jet black hair, letting it hang loose over one side of my face, and teasing the rest up slightly. My hair was like my security blanket, if I couldn't see others from under it, then they couldn't see me. I set my hair product down and looked at the boy in the mirror.

Lifeless cold blue eyes starred back at me, and I quickly grabbed my eyeliner and smeared it under my eyes and across the top lids. It was my favorite part of getting ready, my eyeliner changed my whole face…I was Raven. I don't give a fuck about anyone and they in return, don't give a fuck about me.

I like this look, it went with my apathetic attitude and screamed "I don't give a fuck" I feel stronger as raven more than I did as Stan…Stan let people in too easily, like Wendy…and look how great that turned out. While I Raven, can protect myself, my physical appearance warns others off, I don't have to pretend or be liked…I'm alone, and I want it to stay that way.

Kyle and Kenny had given up trying to help me out of my misery, must I must tell you, I'm quite happy wallowing in it; I'm very content like this. Strangely enough the fatass hasn't said a word about it…fucken prick doesn't understand any kind of emotion or pain anyway…he always did, and still does, always get what he wants…I'm jealous of that to be perfectly honest.

I grab my bag, heading for the shit hole I call school, taking my usual spot at the back of the bus…where only the fat ass sits, since everyone else shits their pants when they go near him, due to his quick temper.

"Aye faggot, I didn't say you could sit here" He shoots me a look, while I casually flip him off and sit my black denim covered ass down on the plastic bus seat. He huffs and folds his arms, knowing he won't get any fight from me. He bends down, undoing his blue backpack and pulling out a small glass bottle before tossing it to me, a black nail polish bottle lands in my lap and I raise a dark eyebrow.

"What's this for?" I question, undoing it and coating my nails lazily with the black liquid, trying to hide my curiosity and dare I say, a smile.

But, as expected, Cartman does nothing more than merely shrug. I feel his chocolate brown orbs linger over my slim figure a little longer than needed, which I don't question, and my cold eyes glance to where his soft fingers tap against his knee, like he's waiting impatiently for something to happen.

His eyes flicker to the window watching the passing houses and cars through the dirty glass, until the bus pulls up to our school, and we both wait till everyone is done pushing, shoving and ramming each other over to get out. I glance back at him, and notice he's waiting for me to get up, so I quickly grab my small backpack and lead him out; unaware that Cartman was watching my ass the entire time getting out of our means of transport.

I pause looking around for somewhere to sit before class starts, but the bell rings. I look over to Cartman who is adjusting his straps on his backpack, and I try not to laugh at my personal joke how he's probably getting fatter.

"Walk with me to class Stan?" He looks up, deep brown eyes full of sincerity and a small hint of hope. I can't help but be a little taken back. Sure, he makes the small side comments and jokes about me, and I do the same back, but this side of him? I've never seen before, and I was a little scared…No words came outta my mouth, no heartless cruel comebacks. I just stood there like an idiot and nodded, completely and utterly dumb stricken.

He actually half smiled, and waited till I was by his side before we started moving off to class together. I felt strange. How could one simply non queer question have me thinking of a million and one questions? _Calm Down..._I told myself…_It's just Cartman._

The walk was actually…nice, he asked me about school and how my project was going for wood-work, and made not a single joke about Me, Wendy or even Kyle. Once we reached the woodwork room, the teachers let us in and told us to get started.

I placed my bag on the ground and disappeared into the spare room, collecting my half completed work. I was making a coffee table with a chessboard theme for the top of it. Lame? Well kinda, but the teacher didn't seem to care.

I threw on my black apron and goggles and set off to start cutting new wood pieces on the schools Band Saw, I switched it on, and the thing roared to life, the saw going up and down rapidly. I placed my wood on it and started sawing the pieces I needed, putting full concentration into what I was doing, as there was no way in hell I could afford to start over again.

Now I knew Cartman had to be working in the sewing room, because the momma's boy was making a new dress for his Mother. "Modest" he told the other students when they started laughing at him for his faggy idea. But I kept my opinions to myself; I didn't really care what he made anyway.

So when he came into the woodwork room to visit me, I was a little more than surprised.

"Don't cut your fingers like you did last time" He commented while I was halfway through the cutting on the machine. I rolled my eyes muffling out an "I won't" through my dust mask, while he stood there silently watching. It was true, I had accidently cut my fingers on this machine, because I wasn't watching it close enough. I raced to the sink, blood dripping everywhere from my pinky, and Cartman actually sprinted to get the teacher, and then the nurse had told me I was lucky…because any further and the blade would have cut into my bone. The whole thing was very amusing to me, and I only got "WTF" looks from other students when I was laughing about it. It honestly didn't hurt.

And so ok, I think I can say that I'm not the type of person who gets pissed off with others easily, I have patience…but this new Cartman was starting to bother me, we're not even 15 minutes into a school day and already he has given me nail polish, walked me to class and now caring about my fingers? What the _Hell_ Cartman!

Every day feels the same, and now it's only become worse because I'm taunted by Eric, and he doesn't even realize what he does to me. _Yes_...I have come to the earth shattering conclusion that I seem to be developing a sickening crush on the fatass. it must of been sometime during the black nail polish gift, asking me to walk with him or watching to make sure I don't saw my fingers off that I realized I actually like his "personality"

I never considered myself to be gay or bi...but then again, I've only liked one girl my whole life...I didn't want to think about actually liking another dude. Let alone it be Cartman...then again...ignore my thoughts and they'll go away right?

_Wrong..._  
_Fuck...I'm so whipped..._I thought as I got home, pinching the bridge of my nose, and ignoring my parents and Shelly, as I made my way to my room and locked the door.

Aren't I a lovely picture perfect child?

Changing from my outfit into something more comfy, an old pair or black track pants and a grey wife beater.

I pulled out my laptop, sitting on the floor and stretching out, resting my computer on my legs, and booting up MSN. The name "Raven" appeared and then all my contacts, mostly from school showed up. I lazily glanced at the people online, and felt my stomach twist a little when I saw the nickname "mel_gibson" show as "online".

_He's hardly ever on..._I thought to myself as I opened a conversation with him. An automatic click if my fingers without really thinking of what I would say after my usual greeting "hi"

I was surprised he started talking back immediately. "Hey, what's up?"

I paused, before replying back awkwardly "eh...not a lot...you?" oh Jesus raven...is that the best you got? I let out a soft sigh, waiting while he typed an answer.  
"I'm good..."

Another pause went by "you're such a submissive Stan...lol" Wait what? Where did that come from? My face burned red, as I starred at this statement. My fingers glided over my keyboard, stumbling a little as I tried to ask what he meant. "W...what are you talking about fatass?"

"You just agreed to do anything I wanted to today, you accepted the gift, and you followed my like a puppy..."

I clenched my fists, before cutting him off "you ASKED me fatass!" I could almost see Cartmans smug look through the screen, and No matter how hard I tried to be mad, I just couldn't bring it out.  
_  
Yep...really fucken whipped._"God I just wanna shove you against a wall or some shit tomorrow, lmao" _Oh shit...oh shit oh shit oh shit_! I tried to compose myself at my computer. I HAD to put on some kind of act before he really thinks he has the upper hand.  
"Try it fatass! And ill knock you out"

"shut up Stanly, you'd love it...maybe I'll even tug your hair a little"  
MOTHER FUCKER! I felt like if any more blood boiled to my head, that it would explode everywhere...I felt anger, humiliation and...Turned on? Ughh no...NO raven. This is the fatass! I looked down...but apparently my dick had other ideas..._ughh_ I groaned to myself, before quickly typing back..."I gtg, sorry bye"

"to rub one out? Sure...cya tomorrow...raven"

_That asshole!_ I thought as I signed out and shut off my computer, and ran to my bathroom. YES ok to rub one out!

I laid on my bed after relieving myself, slipping on my headphones and turning up AFI on my iPod. But not even the music could relax me...every time I tried, Eric plagued my mind...

_He's not even gay raven...don't fall for a stupid joke...your smarter than that...he doesn't mean it. It's his idea of fun._ I kept telling myself over and over, but groaned when I realized I didn't want to believe that. Then out of nowhere a shiver went down my spine as I repeated to myself how he wanted to push me and pull my hair.

"Mmm" I moaned a little at the thought, and got another shiver, before I raised my hand and slapped myself across the face. _Snap out of it_! I lectured myself for the hundredth time that evening.


	2. the predator and his prey

**Authors Note: Some parts/conversations are taken directly from my Real Life. I can't help myself with that…I feel like I really put a piece of myself in these stories...Please don't Flame…the feelings that Stan feel in this story, are very much real to mine...the confusion, questions and expressions…**

**Very soft…but edgy at the same time, and still deciding if there will be a made-up sex scene. **

**I DO not own South Park.**

**Special Thanks: To SweetPurebloodAngel for giving the first review for this story. Honestly, I almost gave up on this, if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have this chapter done at all. XxX**

I got up the next morning yawning, and tumbling out of bed. Sheets were everywhere, and my hair was matted with sweat around my face. _Gross _I thought, before trying to remember the dreams I had; but giving up when nothing came to mind.

I walked to the bathroom, stripping off my PJ's, and stepping in; turning the water to an almost hot state. I stood there for a while, letting it wash over my hair, and trickle over my figure. I was still fit, but since giving up sport, I've become a lot more skinny rather than lean and taunt.

I picked up the soap, guiding that across my limbs, and rubbing my face, now smelling faintly of baby powder; before then picking up some no name brand shampoo and cleaning my mass of raven hair.

"HURRY UP YOU TURD!" _ughh_…I groaned, a perfect shower getting interrupted by my bitch sister. I turned the water off and quickly dried myself, so I wouldn't have to feel the wrath of her fist against my stomach…._again_. Even though she had lost her braces and some weight, and now knows how to apply makeup she was still horrible on the inside.

I pondered for a brief moment, deciding whether to straighten my hair, or get out as fast as possible. _Fuck it…_I thought, and locked the door, before heating up my red ceramic straightening implement, and gliding it through my hair. The smoke rising from it made me smile a little…simple things like that, or buying a new pair of skinny legs amused me; and at that point the loud fists of my sister banging on the door, added to my amusement.

"Relax your ball sack, I'm done" I murmured after finishing in the bathroom, and walking past her; who now looked like a TNT bomb about to explode. Taking my time to get to my room, my mind somehow brought up Cartman. _Not again_…I sighed, and dug through my drawers, pulling out an older pair of skinny legs, and stopped to look at a red long sleeved top I had since god knows when. _No way! You'll look like Cartman wearing that _My conscious screamed, but I grabbed it anyway, pulling it over my head, and smoothing it down over my chest, letting it rest near my belt.

I finished up with the other small morning routines, like applying my eyeliner, and spraying my hair with numerous hair products, before finally making my way downstairs about to set out the door, only to be confronted by most teenagers arch nemesis…Their parents.

"Stan….STAN" My dad raised his voice at me. That's got to be the one thing that actually scares me; I hate any kind of raised angry voice. My face flushed a little, as I turned around to him on his second attempt of getting my attention.

"Yeah dad?" I ask robotically, knowing something has to be up, with his arms folded over his chest, and my mom in the background looking half worried, half annoyed.

"What's with your attitude and clothes? I'm getting tired of seeing you dress and act all tough when your not…what's your problem?"

"I…" I looked from dad to mom, feeling interrogated and trapped. "I don't have a problem…?" I replied a little too weakly for my liking, and my response only seemed to anger my dad more.

"Well snap out of whatever this faggot phase you're going though! Because your mother and I are sick of it" I flinched at the words, and the level of loudness. I was too shocked for words, holding my backpack a little tighter and muttering a quick "Bye" Before piss bolting out of my _home_ as fast as I could.

"I don't have a fucken problem…fucken dipshits" I cursed, while walking up to the usual bus stop and leaning against the Bus Stop sign, kicking at the snow in anger.

I sighed when I heard the bus screech to a stop in front of me, and I took my usual seat at the back, slouching down, and shaking the excess snow from my shoes.

I didn't realize how close I was sitting next to Cartman until I moved my arm, and it brushed against his. My eyes widened, and I wanted to slide away from him slightly, but before I could he grabbed my arm in one swift and firm movement, holding me in place by a single large hand.

"Hello Raven" He said casually, as his chocolate orbs stared into my blue ones. I felt a little uneasy, with him holding me the way he was, but something in my head told me I could trust him. "H...Hey Cartman…What's up?" I replied a little shaky, not making any type of movement that could cause him to hold me tighter.

"Oh not a lot…and you? You seem upset…What's wrong?" My expression must have given it away, because as soon as he asked, his hand dropped from me, and I slumped a little lower in the seat, as the bus jumped over the speed humps.

"Nothing…My parents just gave me a hard time this morning, telling me to snap out of this "faggot" phase and dress and act normal" I shifted in the plastic seat, unsure as to way I had just told Cartman of all people that…and he nodded thoughtfully before replying.

"Raven…Don't give a shit what anyone thinks, not even your parents, if dressing like that makes you feel good, and your happy with it, then to hell with everyone else who thinks otherwise"

He actually looked sincere when saying it, and before my brain could register what I was doing, my arms flung around him, and hugged him. He was right…I had forgotten not to care what others thought, and a hug was the only thank you gift I could think of at that point. Words were too complicated, and I felt his hand rub my back softly as he continued to talk.

"You think I'd be the same person if I listened to my mom telling me to eat junk food my whole life? Or listen to Kyle call me a Fatass every time he laid eyes on me? If you ignore it then it won't hurt you Raven"

I break away from him for a moment, gathering my thoughts, and absorbing what Cartman had just told me. "But…Cartman, Kyle's called you that since you were kids…how can you just ignore it?" My blue eyes softened, watching Cartmans vulnerability at that moment, waiting for a reply.

"I believed it for a while…but soon the insult just became empty…and that's when I chose to ignore the name calling, Everybody's going to have one or more person in their life that will put them down, in your case its your parents, and for me its my mother and Kyle, but if your strong enough, then you'll learn to ignore it and just be proud of who you are, not what someone else wants you to be."

I nodded, playing with one of my black wrist bands. Cartman was one hundred percent right. He nudged me slightly, monitoring to our school the bus had just pulled up at, and like yesterday morning, waited for me to get up first and lead him out.

I walked out of the bus, and waited till Cartman was by my side, before walking to an unoccupied area to sit before our first class started.

"So anyway…onto something lighter…Why did you leave so fast yesterday on msn?" Cartman asked, a little smirk playing at his lips, while his eyes gained back that mischievous glint they used to hold when we were little.

It took a while before I registered what he had just asked, and I gave a little gasp, and a blush quickly spread across my face as I looked away. _Oh way to be secretive Raven_…I scowled to myself and the sound of laughter was heard beside me.

"Hahahaha Hahahaha! I knew it! I knew you couldn't help yourself" Cartman was holding his stomach, and using one hand to lean on my shoulder for support. My eyes narrowed watching him. So much for the Cartman that was on the bus just then…I muttered to myself, while he wiped an eye.

"So….If I did this..?" Before he could finish his sentence, he had his fingers curled into my hair, and tugged back sharply, making me emit a small moan, and stare up at him.

I couldn't deny it; it felt good, my breathing had quickened, and a flash of power flickered across his eyes; before he let go, a little to my disappointment. "Subby" He smirked and murmured before shoving me away a little.

My face burned while I watched him get up and leave for class. "Coming fag?" Cartman asked with that playful look, and I couldn't find the right comeback, so I simply stood up following him.

The rest of the day was pretty ordinary; Math, English and Lunch. Then after lunch was my favorite subject Woodwork. Everyone was gathered near the door, waiting for the teacher to let us all in. I was leaning against the brick wall, looking out to the school, and occasionally glancing to the people in my class.

I let out a little sigh, looking to my right and realizing Cartman was starring at me with that predatory look in his chocolate orbs. I straightened my posture as he started to advance on me. _Not here where there's students….not here where there's students….._I begged in my head, but as usual my pleas were ignored, and I found myself backing up against the bricks, until his stomach was touching mine.

"Oh my god, it fucking works! You really are a submissive!" His eyes lit up, and took one single step closer until I winced from the bricks. He then grabbed my shoulder spinning me to the right, gaining access to the back of my head and pulling on my black hair, forcing me to look up at the ceiling while he hissed in my ear.

"You like that don't you? You're blushing…" Before I could blink twice, he had successfully now pushed me face first into the brick wall; holding me there with his large hand placed firmly in the middle of my back, making me arch a little and whimper under my breath.

"Get off me" I could barely speak, and my order only fell on deaf ears as he pushed on me harder. "You don't get to make orders" He whispered before getting off me as the teacher came up and unlocked the door.

I looked around, but luckily for me no one was paying attention to either of us, and no one saw. Once inside I shakily dropped my bag and thought about working on my project. _No…I can't today…just pretend to do writing and studying…_My mind told me, as I sat down, listening to myself and pulling out my writing book and a pen.

"Why aren't you doing your work?" Cartmans question rolled around in my head for a while, before I decided to tell him the truth. "I don't want to…." I said simply, while flicking through a heavy textbook, finding any kind of information that could be useful in a future test.

"Huh…" Was Cartmans only reply, as he sat next to me, pulling out material and getting to work on his own product.

I failed to do anything that lesson; I flicked my pen around in my fingers, and managed to get two lines of writing done, before I completely gave up and decided to watch Mastermind Eric Cartman work. My heart rate quickened as I watched those hands handle the material rather roughly; pulling at it and sticking pins in it, cursing at his work occasionally.

"Miss I'll be right back!" I said quickly to our young dark haired teacher, before I walked out of class hoping I looked normal enough at that point, heading for the boy's toilet.

I pushed open one of the stalls, shutting the door behind me, and then resting my forehead against it, taking a few deep breaths. I closed my eyes a moment, trying to calm down, before reaching up and patting down my tugged on black hair.

When I thought it was safe I reopened the cubicle and started to walk out; and my short lived calmness was replaced by a dash of fear and excitement, as I locked eyes with those perfect chocolate ones.

"Hiding are we Raven?" His features seemed to reflect that of a 6 year old kid that just got the best Christmas present ever and moved quickly in on me.

**Authors note: I had fun writing that! Was a little sad though right? But I made up for it with a cliff hanger! And I know what happens next! **

**ALSO a special thanks to ScaryBones I got your review while I was in the middle of writing this :D thank you also for reviewing! I hope you enjoyed it. **

**Stan:** the next chapter is really good guys!

**Cartman:** *cough* fag *cough*

**Stan:** *grins and kisses Cartmans cheek*

**Cartman:** AYE FAGGOT!


	3. behind the door

**CHAPTER 3**

**BEHIND THE DOOR**

**Authors note: **YAY reviews! Thank you to everyone who is enjoying and reading this!

**ENJOY!**

"Cartman what are you doing" I breathed out when he placed his hands on my chest and pushed me into the closest stall he saw and locked us both in. He was taller than me, heavier than me and one of the scariest guys in school. And during the past few days spent with him, I was lusting badly.

"Shut up and take it bitch" He growled low, stepping in on me, and shoving me against the door, using he knee between my legs so I couldn't try and escape. "Cartman…Get Off Mee-AHHH" The sudden sensation of his thick thumb and fingers grasping and pulling at my nipples hurt like hell, as he somehow managed to snake them up under my red sweater and torment me ruthlessly.

I gasped loudly, trying to hold my balance and stay sane as blood rushed to my lower regions, making me become painfully hard against my tight jeans. "Oh? We like that do we?" My obvious arousal didn't go unnoticed as Cartman quirked an eyebrow, and began rubbing his knee hard against my crotch, making me emit small gasps of pleasure.

He dropped his hands from my top, deciding to grab both my wrists holding them high over my head in one strong hand, squeezing where my self inflicted cuts were, deliberately making me squirm. "You're a dirty little fuck…and I want to see those pretty black painted eyes cry for me Stan" He whispered hotly in my ear; before bringing his lips crashing down on mine, forcing his tongue in dominating mine, and biting my lower lip with need and aggression.

I couldn't think straight anymore; my mind had completely shut down, and my body was arching in heat. I looked up in our moment of intimacy daring to look into his eyes, to try and read what he was thinking or feeling…But the action set him off and I doubled over when he landed a punch to my stomach.

"You DON'T have the right to look at me like that you fucken emo prick! Take off those pants and get on your knees over the toilet! NOW!" His eyes flashed with anger. I shuddered at the command, it sounded so controlling and dominating, while he folded his arms over his chest waiting for me to comply.

I slowly unzipped my black jeans; pushing them all the way down past my ankles and pulling them off, then the next to leave me was my grey cotton boxers, blushing when my cock sprang free, and exposed itself to Cartman.

"Fuck you're such a slut…I bet you wanted this for ages…your dick is already dripping from the thought of it" He laughed cruelly at my state, and no matter how hard I tried to block out his words, they only made me more horny and needy for him…I wanted this…I wanted to be his bitch. "Cartman…Please Stop this..." I begged, trying to sound unwilling, I reached out to him, but he quickly grabbed my arm, twisting it painfully.

"ON THE FLOOR NOW!" He barked out; and I bit my lip, lowering myself onto the dirty toilet tiles, and I felt his large hand touch my ass. "God you look so fragile and easily breakable" He mused while standing over me, caressing my backside and stroking a finger up and down my crack; before stopping at my pink star. I cried out clenching my hands into fists as he stuck a fat dry finger inside me, wiggling it around and using his free hand to tug on my black hair, pulling my head back.

"Tell me how you like my fingers in you raven!" He ordered before shoving another fat finger inside me. He thrusted them back and forth in me, and I screamed out as my hot hard dick smacked up against the freezing cold toilet, causing me to shiver and moan before answering. "I love it" I moaned out reaching down to my dick, pumping quickly. But another rough tug on my hair meant that I upset him.

"Say it in full Slut!" He growled out, now creating a scissoring motion me with his fingers, pushing deeper and deeper. "I love your fingers in me Cartman!" I cried out, bucking my dick against the toilet, wanting something rough. I felt his fingers then leave my backside, and the sound of his fly filled our small space, and he dropped his pants and boxers down, letting his own member out.

"Then your in for a real treat with this" He cooed at me sadistically while rubbing the head of his cock against my crack, slicking it up with his pre cum before stopping at my entrance. Then without so much as a warning, he rammed his shaft inside me; burying himself completely. I screamed out, tears burning my eyes and falling down my face; tarnishing my black eyeliner…creating thick black rivers of tears down my cheeks.

The sound of skin slapping against skin filled the small male bathroom, as he went balls deep in me, thrusting himself in and out, groaning a little. "Fuck your so tight you little bitch" His deep gruff voice made me want to cum then and there, but I stopped myself, My body slamming against the toilet every now and then from his thrusts.

My cries and whimpers quickly turned to moans when his chunky cock slammed against my prostate, making me see stars. "MMMMM Cartman! Again!" I ordered loudly, arching my back out, and thrusting my hips wanting him to repeat it.

"Oh? I'm sorry? I didn't catch that….can you beg again Raven?" His sickly sweet taunting sent shivers down my spine, as I became in desperate need for more, moaning and clutching at the toilet, while he pulled his cock out pressing it at my entrance once again.

"Pleaseeee Cartman, I want you to fuck me harder and deeper, Plea..." "AHHHH Fuck!" My begging was cut short as he rammed into me, hitting my prostate again and tugged my hair back, while I clenched around his dick.

"I…I'm gonna…MMMM" My balls tightened and strings of searing white liquid shot out against the toilet I was kneeling over, dripping down and spraying the tiles, as he dominated me and used me.

"Ahhhh Goddd…." Cartman groaned, pulling out of my apparent tight backside, as he shot his heavy load all over my ass. I shivered as I felt his liquid run down my crack, over my battered hole, and make its way between my legs, before dripping to the floor.

"So perfect…" I heard him whisper gently, walking to the side of me before swinging out his large palm and giving my ass two solid swats on each side; each hit harder than the last. I bucked and cried out as "shhhh'ed" me, my body acting up so much around him, as he controlled me and my emotions so easily.

He leaned down towards me, brushing his lips against mine, kissing me softly, while his left hand rubbed away the damp tears on my face, the small gesture telling me everything was going to be ok. I kissed back with the same gentleness and affection as he showed me, moving up a little from where I was leaning.

He broke away, watching me before grabbing some toilet paper cleaning himself up and pulling up his pants, while I followed his lead. Getting up on unsteady legs, barely able to stand as I cleaned myself and pulled my pants back up over my... what I assumed to be, now scarlet hand printed ass.

"I can barely walk Cartman…" I murmured, and he gave a perverted smile my way, placing a hand on my back before guiding me out of the bathroom, to make sure I don't cave in to my knees.


	4. F is for Friendship

**CHAPTER 4**

"**F" IS FOR FRIENDSHIP**

_**A/N:**__ Yeah…I know …But better late then never right…? _

**Krizz:** …right? *Hopeful grin*

*Crickets chirp outside*

**Krizz**: -.-'

I do not own South Park

I do own this story

I could barely sit on the bus coming back home. Every part of my body either ached or still tingled from his touch. My behind burned, my stomach was bruised, and my head hurt like a mother fucker. And although I felt drained out and weak; I felt more alive than ever before. Nothing could ruin this day...nothing...except my parents.

"The turds home" my sister called out to them, and as I set one foot in the door, questions come flooding from their mouths, and they lead me into the lounge room where i figured my interrogation would take  
place.

"Now sit down Stanly...and explain to us what's gotten into you lately" My mother used that strict, no bullshit tone I always despised...while my dad sat next to me, watching my every awkward shift like a hawk.

"I really don't have any idea what your talking about" I said bluntly, looking between both of them, knowing their conspiring against me and working as a team to make up shit and get me grounded.

"Listen Stan, we don't like the attitude lately. The clothes, the makeup or lack in sport...you've changed. And what happened with Wendy? Are you still together?" I tried to control myself; tried to repeat everything Cartman had calmed me down with on the bus...but the two of them starring at me, waiting for an answer...was too much...and I snapped.

"WE'RE OVER! And I like my style! I don't give a shit if no one likes it! And screw sport! I did it as a kid! Doesn't mean I want to do it as I get older! People change and grow! So back off!" I was breathing heavier now; face flushed as my feet moved on their own and forced me to run; while my dad called out to me with a growl in his voice.

I ran to the few people I knew would understand me...the few people that could feel my pain. Dylan, Evan, Henrenitta and Gorgie. I ran a good several blocks till I found Dylan's house, knocking on the door until it clicked open to reveal a bottle red haired teen male, inhaling a smoke.

"Raven?" he looked up, the smallest hint of surprise in his husky tone. "Everyone's upstairs...come in" He stepped away from the door, and I nodded in appreciation, thankful he didn't ask why I was standing at his door panting and almost crying. We entered his room, the walls a wallpaper black, matching his furniture, and black iron bed, with a few dark grey and blood red pillows tossed around at random. 

The other three companions looked up, nodding their greeting while taking long drags on their cigs. I lent over to Henrenitta, grabbing one, while Evan lit it for me near my mouth. I felt safe here...taking a deep inhaling of the toxic substance, and exhaling as slow as possible.

This really was the perfect place for comfort in my opinion. No one asked questions or judged. They were there. And that was enough for me. I felt Evan move closer, until I was seated between his legs, wrapping his arms around me, and pulling me towards his chest, till I could hear his soft heartbeat.

The others gathered around, sharing their pain filled poems while I curled in Evans hold. It never meant anything other than a close bond. And after everything I went through with Wendy, they stayed by my  
side, not even Kyle showed that kind of friendship.

Minutes turned to hours and the black candles went out, leaving wax to drip over the carpet. The soft patting on my back, and smoke filled room putting me to sleep quickly.

I stayed all Friday night, waking up on Saturday morning still in the arms of Evan, while Henrenitta was re lighting the candles. "Morning raven" she greeted in that beautiful yet eerie voice.

I got up slowly, rubbing my eyes from sleep, causing Evan to stir but not wake. "Morning..." I replied in a groggy voice, Stretching my tired limbs, before pulling out my phone, and being greeted with 5 missed  
calls; three from my parents, and two from Cartman.

I groaned texting my parents briefly that I stayed with friends, and wasn't coming home till tonight…but ignored Cartmans.

Slipping it back in my back jean pocket, I whispered "Where are Dylan and Gorgie?" I asked curiously, watching her light the last candle. "Their both at the coffee shop on Saturdays...Dylan doesn't like having breakfast with his parents..."

She trailed off while a shuffle was heard behind me, as Evan awoke "Because that's totally conformist" He commented between yawns, getting up and sitting on the edge of the iron bed. I walked over, sitting beside him, greeting him in a quiet voice while his lips turned up in the slightest, giving me a small smile of acknowledgment.

Evan never showed affection unless it was to his fellow Goth friends; he brushed some strands of my black hair from my face, tilting my head up slightly, to look him in the eyes. "Don't ever cry over your parents again…their not worth your tears when they upset you" I blushed a little, shifting on the bed, looking away as I felt tears threaten my eyes. "But how did you know..?" I asked, looking back at him through glassy eyes, and he gave an apologetic look, reaching behind me and pulling my phone out from my jeans.

"You didn't put this away last night…" He answered softly, handing me the phone and getting up. "Well its up to you today…what do you feel like doing?" Henrenitta looked over at me, her dark eyes watching my expressions. I got up, looking from Evan to Henrenitta "Let's meet the others at the coffee shop"

They both nodded their agreement, and after the morning routines of showers and applying eyeliner, the three of us walked out, taking our time in walking to our destination.

"Ahhhh…well well well…If it isn't the rejects of society…lovely day isn't it?" Cartman sneered at me and my friends, folding his arms over his big boned chest, blocking our way. Henrenitta rolled her eyes, taking a drag on a fresh smoke, while Evan stepped forward. "Get out of our way fatass" Cartman glared at the insult, but locked eyes on me. "Look I don't mean to cause trouble, but I'm here to take Stan home"

My eyes widen a little, as he stands there smirking "Your mom called my mom, and she's pissed Raven…I'm not leaving until you leave with me" I sigh in defeat, moving past Evan who curses under his breath, I mutter an apology to the both of them before walking alongside Cartman, through the snow, and past the old South Park shitty run down shops, leading up to his two story house.

"Heh…That was easy enough to get you alone…" He laughed, and before I knew it he had successfully pushed me inside his house. I growled darkly, starring at him. "So mom didn't call you at all! You totally made that shit up?" I pushed him off me, wanting my real friends…wanting their comfort again, but I got pushed against the wall for a seco-…no wait, that's not right…damnit! I couldn't even keep counts anymore.

"I care about you, you god damned asshole! You could have at least texted me last night so I know what's going on" He shot back, letting his arms fall by his sides, letting me go. I stood there like the biggest douche on earth while Cartman tried to calm himself down.

"I'm sorry Eric…" I responded quietly while my eyes filled with tears slightly, letting myself slide down his wall, curling my knees up to my chest, wrapping both my arms around my legs, and sitting there sobbing while the fatass continued to stand in front of me.

"Ehhhh you need some damn ice cream and cheesy poofs…I'll be right back" He waved me off before walking to his kitchen, banging bowls and plates and food packages together. I smiled to myself lifting my head a little wiping at my tears and flicking some hair from my face. _You may be a racist, sexist, Jew hating scumbag...but you're not really that bad Cartman._ I thought to myself before sitting up a little straighter seeing Cartman waddle back in with a white bowl filled with strawberry and chocolate scoops of ice cream, and in the other hand; a bowl filled to the brim with cheesy poofs.

"Neeoow if this doesn't cheer you up emo kid, nothing will" He said with a hint of his accent. Taking a seat on the floor next to me, resting his head and back against the wall, with the food shared between us. "Thanks Cartman, it's already helping" A natural unforced smile made its way onto my face before I dunked my spoon into the bowl, taking a helping of strawberry ice cream, and licking the spoon clean.

"I knew you'd pick the pink colour…fag" He grinned, stirring me up, moving his spoon a little over the chocolate flavor, and tapped the chocolate spoon lightly against my nose, leaving a cold little mess.

"You got something on your nose Raven..." The fatass smirked, and I smirked back, leaning in a little closer, closing the space between us. "Do you mind getting it off then Eric?" I asked innocently, feeling his warm body pressed against mine, and his deep brown eyes looking through mine.

"Course not" He played the cocky little asshole role so perfectly, as he draw closer, letting his tongue lick the chocolate off.

I took in a hitched breath, before giving into every thought in my head, and pressing my lips to his softly, moving one of my hands to his chest, feeling his heartbeat quicken.

_You may be a cunning, racist, sexist, sarcastic, tea-parting, cross dressing, Jew hating, big boned fatass Cartman…but whether you're willing to admit it or not…you have a heart of gold._

_**A/N:**__ EW apologizes for the fluff! Don't even know where it came from! Humph! I need to go cleanse this story in the next chapter with some good old' bdsm…YES you heard right! _

**Cartman:** "So keep reading god damnit…!"

**Krizz:** *Blinks* ermm….Cartman…

**Cartman:** "…OR I'LL KICK YA IN THE NUTS"

**Krizz:** -.-' ...yeah he's not joking…

**Stan:** *Is still eating ice cream*


End file.
